Confidence + Cool Pants

Thursday, July 25, 2013

When I was in grade school I was teased mercilessly.

I was smaller and younger than everyone in my grade.  I was shy. And perhaps worst of all, I wore ugly hand-me-down clothes.  Looking back I can't imagine why kids so young even cared about where my clothes came from or what they looked like, but they did; and I was made aware of it every single day.

Fast forward twelve years.  I was a senior at Pepperdine with a hot boyfriend who I was going to marry, a solid group of friends, and a decent set of accomplishments to list on my resume.  I was at the peak of confidence.  I had just returned from a month long trip to India and came out of my bedroom in a pair of harem pants that I had bought there.

If Saks sells them they have to be cool, right?

I felt cool. I felt cultured.  But a friend who was hanging out at my apartment took one look at me and said, "You look like MC Hammer!!"  She and my roommate erupted in laughter.  The confident, undaunted Amanda (who, had she really existed, probably would have laughed right along) collapsed.

 I told my friend she was wrong and that they were cool and she didn't know what culture was and I was just wearing them around the house okay and why does she even care anyway and guess what she was a really bad person for making fun of a friend in the first place!

Then I slammed my bedroom door and wept.  I cried my eyes out over a pair of pants. That ten year old me came flying in out of nowhere and every confidence I thought I had built up evaporated.

It was on that day that I realized when our security is set in anything less solid than Christ it is apt to vanish at a moment's notice.

We can have nice clothes, great relationships, and stellar accomplishments but any of those things can be taken away (or ridiculed) in a heartbeat.  It is only when we are truly convinced of the Love of our Maker that we are able to shake off the ridicules of the world and rest peacefully in who we are.

(For the record, I still own those pants and still love to wear them.  That's gotta mean progress, right?)

This post is part of the Choose Beauty Linkup


  1. So glad you joined in on this series! I have definitely cried over a pair of pants before—it never feels good when someone deflates your confidence like that! I love that you pointed everything back to Christ. He is the real source of beauty, for sure!

    1. Thanks Natalie! I'm so glad you started this series. It's been wonderful reading everyone's posts :)