"I Love You Because..."

Thursday, November 8, 2012

I've been seeing this craft pop up incessantly on pinterest:

Looks pretty cute right? What a great thing for married couples... reminding one another of the many things for which they are loved and appreciated.  Here are some of the examples I've seen:

I love you because you are so darn sexy.
I love you because you took care of the baby last night at 3 am.
I love you because you always put the toilet seat down.

There's something that bothers me about this fundamentally, though.

While I believe that appreciation is a valuable and necessary aspect of a healthy marriage, I also believe that our love for our spouse should not be dependent on looks, actions, or even character.  I know that is kind of a bold statement, but I truly believe that our model for marriage is Christ's relationship with His Church.  Our love should be without condition and without precedent.  Romans 5:8 is the perfect illustration of this kind of love:

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

He didn't Love us because we were faithful, good, trustworthy, or noble.
He didn't Love us on the condition that we loved Him in return.
He just Loved.

(okay that last one isn't actually a word, but you get my jist.)

And what does He ask of us in return? Here's a hint- It's not
"I loved you, so you better love me back."
(Sometimes I'm like that with foot rubs.)

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. {1 John 4:11}

So Tyler, if you are reading this, I want you to know that:
I appreciate how darn sexy you are.
I appreciate how you take care of the baby cat at 3 am.
I appreciate that you always usually put the toilet seat down.

But my love for you will continue even if none of those things do. 


  1. What a perfect little pinterest idea, and a beautiful post about our savior and Lord!
    xo TJ

  2. Perhaps they should change those signs to say I appreciate you because or I thank you because. Love is not a feeling...it is a choice.

    1. Barbara, I agree! I think it's so important in a marriage to find little ways to appreciate + encourage one another, but I think this phrasing can send the wrong message. Great suggestion!

  3. I learned through a season with one of my teens that unconditional love is when you don't feel it,don't want to - but choose to - I so agree - it is not an earned commodity:) (though I love your art idea - it would be great to put on my black board on my porch!)